A Few Words on Herzog

In honor of National Pets day, which was Tuesday, today’s post is about Herzog – Herzog the cat, not Herzog the German director known for probing the existential depths of the human soul. Although Werner Herzog is tops, too. After all, my cat is named after him. 

This is Herzog.

Herzog
“Touch my fluffy tummy! Come on, how could you not?” ~ Herzog, demonstrating what I call ‘The Beartrap Maneuver.’ He can snap shut around around a hand in one billionth of a second.

Vital Statistics

  • Neutered male tabby, 15 lbs, about 40 inches long, age 8.
  • Long enough to stand on his back legs and pull things off table tops or the kitchen counter edge.
  • Very good health.
  • +5 Lung capacity for extended caterwauling sessions at 4 AM/PM.
  • +10 strength – can pull me while wearing his harness if I am on wheels.
  • Does tricks – Sit, Lie Down, Roll Over, and Up. Recognizes ‘Bedtime’ means it is time to go to bed, ‘Blender’ presages a loud sound such as a blender, garbage disposal or vacuum, and ‘Hop Up’ warns that I am about to get up and he must vacate my lap.
  • Will not perform ‘Speak’ on command; never shuts up otherwise.
  • Alternate names: Bubs, Bubbins, Mr. Mittens, Mr. Muffins, Mr. Meowsers, Fiddles, Cuddles, Cuddle-Bear, Snuggle-Bear, other nauseatingly cute things.

Continue reading “A Few Words on Herzog”

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