A Few Words on Herzog

In honor of National Pets day, which was Tuesday, today’s post is about Herzog – Herzog the cat, not Herzog the German director known for probing the existential depths of the human soul. Although Werner Herzog is tops, too. After all, my cat is named after him. 

This is Herzog.

Herzog
“Touch my fluffy tummy! Come on, how could you not?” ~ Herzog, demonstrating what I call ‘The Beartrap Maneuver.’ He can snap shut around around a hand in one billionth of a second.

Vital Statistics

  • Neutered male tabby, 15 lbs, about 40 inches long, age 8.
  • Long enough to stand on his back legs and pull things off table tops or the kitchen counter edge.
  • Very good health.
  • +5 Lung capacity for extended caterwauling sessions at 4 AM/PM.
  • +10 strength – can pull me while wearing his harness if I am on wheels.
  • Does tricks – Sit, Lie Down, Roll Over, and Up. Recognizes ‘Bedtime’ means it is time to go to bed, ‘Blender’ presages a loud sound such as a blender, garbage disposal or vacuum, and ‘Hop Up’ warns that I am about to get up and he must vacate my lap.
  • Will not perform ‘Speak’ on command; never shuts up otherwise.
  • Alternate names: Bubs, Bubbins, Mr. Mittens, Mr. Muffins, Mr. Meowsers, Fiddles, Cuddles, Cuddle-Bear, Snuggle-Bear, other nauseatingly cute things.

Continue reading “A Few Words on Herzog”

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Little Bits

Not much in the way of a long entry today, but here are some little bits!

  • John Wick 2 – I wasn’t going to say anything, but I am pregnant with this movie’s offspring. At least one week. But seriously, it was MAGNIFICENT and you should see it. The movies are intended to be a trilogy, so this one is a bit of a bridge, but it still is AWESOME. Loved it from start to finish.
  • Life Stuff – Going well! Cooking, writing, peopling, and in my downtime I’ve picked up playing Skyrim again. The memories! The memes! The hilarious moments! I had completely forgotten how unprepared for fighting giants I was!
  • Fewds – I did my taxes*, got my tax return, and got a new (but irregular) All-Clad 12-inch skillet from Cookware and More and a mandoline slicer. I already have used the skillet a few times and it is MAGIC!
  • Politics – *drinking sounds*

Please enjoy this thing, which I saw years ago and forgot it existed until I was reminded the other day. I love rediscovering old things! It’s like rummaging in your attic and finding old treasures! NOTE: this video is totally fake and was created in a studio with greenscreens. No cats were thrown out of planes in the making of this video. Their little back paws floating in the air like ^V^ make me laugh very hard, though.

“Whatever.” ~ Skydiving cats, probably.

*Being an unmarried, childless, landless peasant with no side hustle means my taxes are wonderfully simple. I do them on Turbotax every year! 

Werebeasts Week: Cat People (1942)

It turns out Irina has a secret… If the movie title hasn’t already tipped you, she’s a cat person!

October is Horror Movie month, where we let down our hair and celebrate all things macabre and scary! Not that we don’t during the rest of the year, but still… HORROR MOVIES! People who don’t like horror are encouraged to check back November 1st for less bloody and/or disturbing films. For everyone else, let’s put on our galoshes and WADE INTO THE MIRE!

Hello and welcome to Werebeasts Week here at Late to the Theater! This week’s selections are hairy, scary, and usually unfairly judged – They just want to be understood! Or fed! Either way, we’re looking at people who sprout fur, fangs, and bad attitudes this week, so make sure your shots are up to date and you’ve packed a doggie bag. Let’s get going!

Today I’ve got a real treat for y’all: 1942’s inspired and yet totally banana-balls Cat People. It’s a delightfully weird little film that bears only a passing resemblance to the 1982 remake that starred Natassja Kinski and Malcolm McDowell and is totally ripe for the MST3K treatment, if it hasn’t already happened. Because it’s just so gosh darn fun and I need to discuss it, there will be spoilers. 

cat_people_1942_poster

Let’s jump in, shall we?

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Five Rando Christmas Movies

So I think we all need a break. We need warmth, joy, family and friends, and to remember the important stuff – and I don’t mean all the shit we just put ourselves into debt to buy. I mean the REALLY important stuff.

It’s been a hell of a year, folks.

This year’s news was a constant parade of nightmares and horror, and it was easy to get lost in the torrent of sorrow. The plight of Syrian refugees;  Paris, the City of Lights darkened by terrorism, and then rising from the ashes in glorious solidarity; the destruction of world Heritage sites by madmen; natural disasters; mass shootings; and of course, the inevitable callousness that comes with being inundated with such tidings. I’ll never forget the moment I said the words ‘Wait, which mass shooting from this year are you talking about?’ because there had been too many to keep track of. 

So I think we all need a break. We need warmth, joy, family and friends, and to remember the important stuff – and I don’t mean all the shit we just put ourselves into debt to buy. I mean the REALLY important stuff. And so today’s entry includes five movies that celebrate that aforementioned REALLY important stuff. I am sorry they’re all just for Christmas – I wish I knew of some Jewish and Muslim holiday movies to discuss! Maybe next year I’ll have found some.

These are all movies my family gets together to watch. My Dad and I get drunk and bray like donkeys at the screen, and my Mom disapproves but laughs along with us.

Have a read and enjoy!

Continue reading “Five Rando Christmas Movies”

Cats Vs. Zombies

Everyone can stop making zombie movies now because this one IS EVERYTHING.

You: “Hey wait, didn’t this blog sometimes post movie reviews?”

Me: “Totes! I have just been swamped with life/the universe/EVERYTHING lately and haven’t had time to watch, much less think about much! I’ll get back to the movies just in time…. for HORROR MOVIE MONTH!! WOOOO!!!!”