A Few Words on Herzog

14 Apr

In honor of National Pets day, which was Tuesday, today’s post is about Herzog – Herzog the cat, not Herzog the German director known for probing the existential depths of the human soul. Although Werner Herzog is tops, too. After all, my cat is named after him. 

This is Herzog.

Herzog

“Touch my fluffy tummy! Come on, how could you not?” ~ Herzog, demonstrating what I call ‘The Beartrap Maneuver.’ He can snap shut around around a hand in one billionth of a second.

Vital Statistics

  • Neutered male tabby, 15 lbs, about 40 inches long, age 8.
  • Long enough to stand on his back legs and pull things off table tops or the kitchen counter edge.
  • Very good health.
  • +5 Lung capacity for extended caterwauling sessions at 4 AM/PM.
  • +10 strength – can pull me while wearing his harness if I am on wheels.
  • Does tricks – Sit, Lie Down, Roll Over, and Up. Recognizes ‘Bedtime’ means it is time to go to bed, ‘Blender’ presages a loud sound such as a blender, garbage disposal or vacuum, and ‘Hop Up’ warns that I am about to get up and he must vacate my lap.
  • Will not perform ‘Speak’ on command; never shuts up otherwise.
  • Alternate names: Bubs, Bubbins, Mr. Mittens, Mr. Muffins, Mr. Meowsers, Fiddles, Cuddles, Cuddle-Bear, Snuggle-Bear, other nauseatingly cute things.

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I Got Nothing

7 Apr

I got no news, no jokes, no movie reviews, nothing. Work this week has left me in a puddle of exhaustion. I don’t even have a good reason why I didn’t post anything last week! No excuse! Just bleaaahhhhhhh *waves hands*

Anyway, check back next week when I miraculously pull myself out of my puddle and return to my formerly dynamic state.

bulldogpuddle

 

 

Bits and Pieces

24 Mar

No major post today, just lots of little thoughts rattling around.

  • News – Jesus, what is happening. 
  • Food – Making a chicken under the broiler tonight! I am excite.
  • Hair – Last night I tried the Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil conditioning hair masque. It smelled like cookie dough and made my hair amazingly shiny and curly, which is of course ruined by my sleeping on it. I have not mastered the art of “pineappling” and upon removing my scrunchie resemble some kind of slightly flattened tumbleweed. Ah well! I am almost done with the Coconut & Hibiscus products I got, and next I am going to try Dragonsblood & Coffee Cherry, which smells amazing (I’ve been peeping it at Ulta) and is supposed to give curly hair volume.
  • Books – I am reading Barack Obama’s The Audacity of Hope, which I got for two dollars at the used book store. BEST EVER. I would say it’s helping me cope with the current state of politics, but really it’s helping me hold on to my fantasy that Obama and Biden are setting up a secret shadow government to save us all. It will be run from Biden’s garage, powered mostly by brewskis, and there will be 24-7 grilling in the backyard. When Michelle texts Barry that she’s coming by, there will be a scurry of activity in which bags of Doritos and nacho platters are hastily hidden from sight, and clouds of cigarette (and other!) smoke waved out.

In the meantime, please enjoy this photo of someone’s Grandfather and a goose wearing shoes.

gooseinshoes

GOOSESHOES! 

One day, Nebraska inventor and local kindly person Gene Fleming noticed a goose awkwardly hobbling around his sister-in-law’s yard. Inspection revealed the goose had been born without feet, and it was doing its best to get around on stumps, but its skin was raw and would become infected without intervention. Touched, Mr. Fleming tried to help. After a few false starts, he settled on a pair of leather baby shoes stuffed with cotton slipped over the ends of the goose’s legs. The goose was delighted, and was soon running around the yard unassisted. He was an unusually good-natured goose, and didn’t seem to mind the attention or handling. Unable to stop tinkering, Mr. Fleming continued to improve the shoes.

Andy, as the goose came to be named, enjoyed a short brush with celebrity. He appeared on the Johnny Carson Show, and Nike began sending him free baby shoes. Mr. Fleming carried him around, his head nestled in the crook of his arm, his feet dangling like a child’s on a swing.

Unfortunately Andy’s story ends sadly, so I’ll just cut it off there. Here’s a link to the whole story if you want to depress yourself.  I just focus on the good work of Mr. Fleming and all those people who were delighted by a goose in shoes.

Film Review: Under the Shadow (2016)

17 Mar
undertheshadow2

…and barely hanging on.

Longtime readers of my blog are familiar with my constant complaint that quality horror movies are few and far between. It probably makes me a snob, but the older I get the less interested I am in spending time watching something for the sake of supporting the genre. I just don’t have the patience for fountains of gore and crying teenagers in their underwear unless there is an intelligent twist on it, such as Cabin In the Woods or It Follows. 

Enter Under the Shadow. 

The UK’s entry for foreign language film for the Oscars, it was somehow not nominated. I’ve no idea why, and it’s a shame because this film isn’t just a great scare, it’s important. As I mentioned, intelligent horror films are few and far between, and one with such a riveting premise as Under the Shadow is doubly notable. It’s especially worthy of promotion as the world moves into a more xenophobic phase because it is about precisely that: superstitious thinking. 

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Busy Times – Check Back Next Week!

10 Mar

I got busy this week working on a lot of fiction writing and such, so no post today, unfortunately.

Check back next week for a review of Under the Shadow, a horror film featuring a mother and daughter trying to survive both a vengeful ghost and daily life in 1980s Tehran!

Under the Shadow Poster

See you next week!

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